Rock Life Style

Mais do mesmo, só que agora com boné trucker, cinto de caveirinha e sem tanta sombra, embora rímel seja sexy (mentira! ainda tem sombra)

terça-feira, setembro 06, 2005

 

Quando a gaivota pula do precipício

Para quem achava que eu nunca faria ou que simplesmente desitiria, uma noticia: passagem marcada para o dia 15 de outubro só de ida para São Paulo... é meus caros, este que vos fala está de mudança para um outro lugar... sheep na cidade grande, talvez agora a resenha do Antics ai embaixo faça um pouco mais de sentido e é interessante notar que uma ponta de tristeza toma conta de mim por causa disso, talvez essa seja de fato a maior aventura que já tive, talvez ela seja apenas uma ponte para outras ainda maiores, talvez nem seja uma aventura ou simplesmente parte de uma aventura maior chamada viver (parafraseando Hook: A volta do capitão gancho) o fato é que finalmente estou realizando o meu sonho... não amiguinhos meu sonho não é “ir para São Paulo” mas sim apenas o “ir” a verdade é que quem acompanha o que escrevo desde os tempos do sombrio sombraeluz sabe o quanto isso era idealizado por mim, estava nas entrelinhas, noite após noite pensando, regada a muita coca-cola, já faz muito tempo... mas o importante é que foi feito é chegada a hora de partir, jogar tudo pra cima como sempre preguei (o que me torna exemplo do que sempre disse) e simplesmente cair no mundo/vida mesmo que isso causa trauma, concussões e escoriações (o que também se ganha andando de patins e o que nunca me fez parar que fique bem claro) a mistura de felicidade, medo, saudade, tristeza, excitação (ui!) causa sensações estranhas a principal é a falta de atenção e foco, e como eu disse Interpol me embala nesse meu momento de transição, que já foi traumático em muitos momentos (como no inicio do ano quando a noticia foi dada) mas que agora na eminência de acontecer mostra-se tranqüilo, acho que são as coisas se acomodando, se adaptando, já não pertenço a este lugar e simplesmente não tenho idéia de onde eu seja, talvez isso se resuma a “busca pela cura” que já tratei por aqui, e olhando para trás (no sentido bloguístico da coisa) as coisas talvez façam um pouco mais de sentido nesse blog e tudo finalmente se encaixe gostoso (ui!).

. . .

Perceba que mais uma vez os sintomas de um post visceral: pontuação semi-inexistente e idéias semi-desconexas e as mesmas músicas em loop-randômico, os sintomas estavam ai espalhados para quem quisessem juntar como num quebra-cabeça que só quem tinha vista montado (ou pelo menos a imagem dele montado) fosse eu.

. . .

Sobre a minha percepção desses momentos o mais próximo que posso chegar para descrever para vocês que estão fora da minha cabecinha é como aquela parte dos filmes onde há um flashback com as cenas em câmera lenta e sem áudio e muito provavelmente em preto e branco, não que isso reprensente tristeza... de forma alguma, simplesmente que entrei em modo flashback/despedida (que venham oS bota-foras! Sexo, drogas e rock and roll baby! A glamourosa e legendária festa ”Vai embora Roudi!” finalmente ocorrerá) me sinto com aquela sensação de que algo está acabando, talvez tenha me acostumado a sonhar com isso de tal forma que agora o fim do sonho (para a sua execução) me deixe um vazio, imagino que isso também faça parte do processo, claro que indubitavelmente esse será substituido (ou incrementado) por um novinho em folha e lá começa todo o ciclo de novo.

. . .

É tempo de mudanças, coisas que ficam, coisas que vão, pessoas que ficam, pessoa que vai e enquanto escrevo isso o Ipod diz:

“Oh but all this to learn and your hair's so free
Can't you feel all the warmth of my sincerity
You make motion when you cry
You're making peoples lives feel less private
Don't take time away
You need motion when you cry
We all hold hands
Can we all hold hands
When we make new friends

I pretend like no one else
To try to control myself
I'm sort of like a lion's cage
Such a cautious display
Remember take hold of your time here
Give some meanings to the means
To your end
Not even jail”

E os meu olhos molham, sentimentos que sempre vão, tristezas que espero que fiquem... “Can't you feel all the warmth of my sincerity”, nas lágrimas que não caíram, alivio, triunfo, saudade, medo… “To try to control myself” , é tempo de despedida, rever sorrisos, rostos e abraços que me farão falta... “Remember take hold of your time here / Give some meanings to the means / To your end / Not even jail”

. . .

Faço parte de um pequeno grupo de gaivotas que começou a sonhar com O Voar em um pedacinho do céu no meio das árvores chamada UNED, ali entre Guri Limão e Escuretto a fagulha do que se chama de Liberdade (assim no maiúsculo) foi acesa e agora quase 7 anos depois chega-se a hora do bando debandar, cada um para seu horizonte para um dia se reencontrar em uma praia qualquer em algum lugar do espaço tempo, para quem sabe, comer mais escuretto com Guri Limão, porque são dessas coisas que os sonhos são feitos e é de sonhos (de suas realizações e da busca por suas realizações) que a vida é feita.


Ouvindo: Interpol - Not Even Jail (e podia ser diferente?)

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